Well, let me tell you a story. Sobek, dear beloved Father, has been trying in vain to get me into heavy metal for years. It’s never been my thing, or so I thought, so I figured He’d stopped pestering me about it because He had accepted He’d never win me over.

Apparently not. -_-

Now, this story requires some past history, so bear with me. I have this weird instinct where I just *know* if I’ll like a certain band or artist, usually just from hearing a few songs. This instinct has rarely been wrong, so I tend to listen to it when it calls.

Enter silverchair and The Prodigy. I first fell in love with these bands when I was a wee teenager. It was that instinct again, see? But mother was not a fan of this sort of music, and I’m a nice sort of kid, so I didn’t rock the boat. My time would come. And when I did begin buying their albums years later in my 20s? Lo, I did fall in love with them. My instinct was right.

Now, enter Black Sabbath. This requires a little more explanation. I’ve had a flirtation with this band for years. YEARS, people. Now, maybe it was my Christian upbringing, maybe it was because mother would not have approved at all, but I always kept Sabbath at a distance. That instinct of mine was there, but I always said no. Even though Ozzy Osbourne is fucking adorable, I still said no. I think part of me was slightly afraid at how much I would like it, as if it was my ‘dark side’ or something.

Now, enter rage and The Chaser guest progamming for NYE 2007. What did I get out of that epic experience? I fell in love with ELO, of course. And Pink Floyd to a certain extent. It aged my music collection certainly. (In an unrelated note, I also fell in love with of Montreal and The Decemberists, but that’s another story.)

ELO are actually a terrible enabler. The effect they’ve had on my music collection is rather significant, and there are some people I would never have bothered listening to otherwise. Also, Roy Wood? Fucking nuts, and also fucking awesome. <3 …It’s an ‘epic hair’ and a ‘boys in make-up’ thing. XD

(Also, the impact ELO has had on my writing is rather extraordinary and should be discussed at length elsewhere.)

Now, enter rage again their ‘rage gets hairy’ special. Now, I like a bloke with long hair, as I’ve mentioned, bonus points for leather and/or chest pr0n. So, naturally, it’s quite a good special. Twisted Sister come onto my radar and I like what I see and hear. Twisted Sister, of course, have come onto my radar in the past from my love of No Doubt.

I have also recently fallen in love with Led Zeppelin, and not just because of Go! and other assorted coincidences.

I feel there are more than three coincidences here and I ought to have twigged this was leading to some sort of clue-by four. But, of course, I’m somewhat dense to these sorts of things, so naturally, I was left slightly without warning.

Now, when I happened across a charming blog that offered bootlegs recently, and happened to offer ELO bootlegs to boot, well, I couldn’t resist, so I downloaded them. I was not looking for said bootlegs, but I found them. Now, I happened to scroll down to see what other bands they had, and lo, there was Led Zep and Black Sabbath.

How does ELO link to Black Sabbath? Well, quite easily. You see, I remembered from reading Bev Bevan’s blog that he had toured with Black Sabbath in 1983 (which I will point out is the year I was born? XD). (Listening to his radio show for months has also been awesomefuntimes and has kinda made me fall in love with other artists, but that’s another story.) This piece of knowledge had always intrigued me because going from ELO to Black Sabbath sounds so… weirdly awesome, so I checked to see if there were any Sabbath bootlegs from that particular tour. There were. I downloaded them both. I discovered my instinct had been right. Again. XD

Now, the ABC has been showing this ‘Seven Ages of Rock’ series of late. Well done, it’s an awesome series. Cue tonight’s show. Topic? Heavy metal.

So they start with Sabbath, of course, move to Judas Priest and Motley Crue and in between all this I’m hit across the head with a combination of epic hair, leather, and fucking awesome guitar. The whole Birmingham thing doesn’t help either. Cue my instinct popping up and suggesting I might rather like Sabbath and Judas Priest and Motley Crue, if I bothered to listen to them properly.

Now, earlier in the afternoon, I had written a rather pr0ny piece of fiction involving an anthropomorphised Foxtel seducing the fuck out of Charles Firth in a rather kinky and awesome fashion.

After watching ‘Seven Ages of Rock’ tonight, I feel pretty much like Charles did after Foxtel was done with him: like I’d been seduced by a rather enchanting Dom in leather who had left me rather exhausted and desperate for more by the time he was done with me.

Cue Sobek, that smarmy croc God of mine, smirking contentedly. Yes, crocodiles have an infinite amount of patience. He was just waiting for the right moment. I believe He has won this round fair and square.

Okay, I surrender, already, happy now?

I’ve had a thought for quite some time now that I would probably cope quite well if I was a nun. I don’t seem to have the same issues with silence that other people do; in fact, given a choice between a noisy party and a quiet home, I’ll take the quiet home kthnx. Why? I don’t like being in noisy places. I can’t think clearly and it makes me withdraw somewhat.

My favourite time of the day is about 10pm – 2am at night. After the madness of prime time and before the infomercials. I know, TV rules my life, yes? We’ve established this before, I believe. It’s quiet. There’s a stillness about that time of night that I adore. Usually I’m the only one awake, and with that still silence, I can think, I can write, and I can do things I can’t normally do during the day. Most of the artwork I’ve done has been done late at night, with the TV on as background noise.

I’m not really a morning person. It takes me a while to wake up. I’m not the sort who can get up instantly, at least, not very often. Is it possible to be addicted to the night? Because I think that’s what I’ve become. The night is most conducive to my mind, so I tend to embrace it. I’m not as nocturnal as I used to be. I’ve had to compromise my need to be up early enough for work and my need to go to bed after midnight. That hasn’t stopped a few 3am bedtimes though.

Also, rage has become a staple of my Friday and Saturday night. The effect of this has been that a lot of music (and music videos) is just better at night. Some clips only make sense at 2am when you’re half-asleep. XD But I wouldn’t have it any other way. Even if my interest in triple j wanes (which it has, because I found a better radio station to listen to – sorry, Marieke), rage will always be there to start my weekend.

Perhaps it’s because I spent the first half of my life without the internet, I am somewhat wary of it taking over everything. There are times when I don’t want to be connected to everyone. I just want to shut it all down, and spend some time with myself, and my Gods, if I’m in the mood. There just isn’t enough time for people to do that these days. Everyone rushes about at a hundred miles an hour, and barely has time to think for themselves. We’ve lost the ability to just sit still and think, we’ve always got to have our mobile or laptop or mp3 player or whatever. But these things are not essential. I think we’d all be better off if we could find that silence again, and not be afraid of it, but to fall into its loving embrace, and find ourselves again.

While I am Kemetic Orthodox, and I like the Senut ritual, it’s too much for me to do every day. Again, I’m feeling a need to go back to my simpler morning ritual of greeting the Gods each morning with prayer, lighting some incense, and spending a moment in Their presence. Which, I know, Senut is a more detailed version of, but it’s not what I want. I find Senut very difficult to perform when others are in the house. I had no issues with my own little ritual, but because Senut can take me upwards of an hour, and I need to be in the right frame of mind, it just… I just end up putting it off.

Perhaps I need to write some more prayers to say in the morning and make it my habit to recite prayers, burn incense, and just be with Them after I get up, rather than speed to the computer and get coffee. I feel I need something to make me feel like I’m doing something.

I probably doesn’t help that I’m not good in the morning, but if I could manage it during high school, I can manage it now. I might also do some more work on redoing my ‘book of shadows’ as I had intended to do earlier. Because I feel I need to readjust where I am and properly set down my beliefs and practices, rather than just pretend I’m a whole bunch of things without being able to point to why. So maybe we’ll do that this arvo or something.

I suppose it’s hard at the moment, saying prayers, as the Gods on my shrine and in my life are somewhat varied and I’m not sure how to approach Them all in the right way. Then again, maybe that’s just an excuse to procrasatinate. Perhaps it’s time to stop being lazy about my faith and make it part of my life again, instead of it just being statues on a shelf. :/

Oh, fuck, and now I just want to redo my bloody shrine again because Sobek and Heru-sa are prodding. FFS. How many Gods can you fit on a shrine? As many as They desire, apparently. :/

Okay, so this is a little shorter than normal, but I’ve got this need to do things again, so I’ll leave this as it is and go do something while I”ve got the desire to, otherwise it’ll pass and I’ll end up doing nothing at all. >.<

(As an aside, I’m also posting this over at Per Sebek, due to relevance.)

Now, I know religion can be a touchy subject for some, and for those who are Pagan of some sort, it can be a subject they are unwilling to talk about due to a fear of harrassment. I get it. However, I don’t think that can really justify the notion that all these little pagan groups need to cut themselves off from anyone who doesn’t agree with them, as if somehow an alternative experience or view point might be the cause of the apocalypse.

‘They’re just a troll, ignore them’. I find this excuse somewhat pathetic. Sure, some might be genuine trolls, and fair enough, if they’re genuine trolls, so be it. But if it’s more of an issue of someone saying something you don’t like, or maybe expressing a belief that’s not necessarily one you hold, I am not inclined to call troll. I don’t think cutting yourself off from alternative perspectives helps anyone, and I think it gives the perception of a closed community, one that is conformist and not accepting of differing views.

This is something that irritates the shit out of me. Just because they don’t see your God in the same way doesn’t mean their experience is any less valid. It just causes animosity and frustration and the sort of energy that says ‘you should conform to the way we see the Gods’.

As an example, one argument I remember seeing over and over again on a certain pagan forum was the whole Aset/Isis debate about whether They were separate Gods or not. (Don’t get me started on it; I am sick of these kinds of arguments.) I could also lump into this all the other threads about experiences with varying Gods and who It might be and such. There were times when people were told it can’t be X because X doesn’t appear/behave/talk/etc that way (with or without ín my opinion’ disclaimer).

I just… Gods are not so simple. We experience Them in ways that we will understand. It’s a very personal and individual relationship. The face They show me might not be the same face They show another. Who are we to say whose experience is invalid because their experience with a certain God doesn’t add up to the way you see Them? They’re not characters from a TV show. They’re Gods, ffs. Get some perspective. >.<

I also think it’s rather dangerous to immediately dismiss someone who’s had a different experience than you. It can lead to isolationism and a definite fear of Others who think differently. You can say you’re protecting yourself from abuse, but it’s a hollow excuse and I don’t buy it.

Djehuty once told me that wisdom can be found anywhere. I agree with Him, and I appreciate the freedom both He and Sobek have given me to explore my own spirituality wherever I happen to wander to.

Learning about another faith, or even talking to someone who believes different things to you, can teach you shitloads about your own faith, and I think that’s far better than running away or outright ignoring someone because someone says something that doesn’t agree with your view of X.

You can’t grow spiritually if you don’t question your own faith and occasionally hear stuff you don’t like. Spirituality is not supposed to be easy. Challenges build you up and strengthen your character, and your own beliefs. Seeing something in a different light can often be what you need to grow, even if it goes against what you currently believe. If it hurts, so be it. Earn your faith, don’t just accept it and expect it to remain unchanged, as if you’re merely babysitting an electronic pet. Take the hits, deal with the consequences, and perhaps there’d be more understanding between differing groups rather than bitching and animosity.

So says me, apparently channeling Set. >.<

There. I’m done now.

I don’t know why I’m writing this here. I suppose just for something to say. Haven’t written much the past few days. Even my inspiration is tired. I might do some reading tomorrow, or that editing I keep putting off. Maybe refresh my Age of Myth skillz. I don’t know how I got so bad at it. I need to rehash my cheats memory. Pandoras Box and Wrath of the Gods will only get me so far… XD

No idea if I’m doing anything for Wep Ronpet though. At least, I have no plans for something big, not when it’ll just be me. Might spend some time in shrine though. And destroy a snake cake or similar. We’ll see. Brain is kinda dead right now, so any thoughts about New Year are very much  ‘oh gods why aren’t you here yet?’

There are too many things I have thoughts on, but not enough to make any sort of coherent post about. Writing is going okay, though, in spite of what I said above. Writing is just not as prolific. Then again, after writing 5k in a weekend, I tend to need a rest and let my inspration recharge. Perhaps I should do that editing tomorrow.

Most of my thoughts are on religion and spirituality tonight, but I’m not interested in writing about that here. Various things around the place have me both annoyed at religion and glad to be amongst friends.

The way I practice religion and spirituality are probably rather a lot different to the way others might do it. I find my own way, and reject anyone who tells me what to believe. The nature of my beliefs and cosmology have shifted substantially this year. I am not solely Earth-focussed anymore. My worldview has expanded and is now filled with stars.

I am definitely a walking example of an eclectic pagan, a label I claimed when I first started out as a Wiccan. I think I have a better understanding now of what it means to be an eclectic pagan than I did when I was 16. I am also, perhaps, becoming more of a Discordian than I had anticipated. For all its apparent silliness, there is truth and wisdom to be found there too.

Kemetic beliefs, Discordianism and Hinduism are the major influences on my spirituality. They intermingle and twine together and create a cohesive something I can relate to. I have a somewhat more lax view on spirituality and spiritual practice than some. The world around us contains its own magics and power. To spend too much time in shrine, seeking desperately the company of gods, is to miss the beautiful, magical, powerful world we live in.

We are connected to everything. Everything we do affects the planet in some manner. The magic in the earth is … astounding. It’s comforting. I like feeling it. I’m the sort of person who will always want to be connected to the earth in some way. To my country. It’s where I belong.

The Kemetic calendar is so ingrained in my head now. I feel the energy draining, how things are gasping their last few breaths. The world is waiting for a new year. I can feel it. I’m ready for it, that I can say for sure. It’s that need for renewal. And I think the calendar does work in a southern hemisphere context very well. July, the last month of the Kemetic year (to use normal dating, as opposed to Kemetic dating), always feels like the darkest part of the year. The coldest, the wettest, the most miserable. And then August comes along and we’re halfway through winter. Spring is coming. The world begins to renew itself, to begin the process of renewal. To come out of the dark and cold of midwinter and emerge into the new year, and the coming spring, is fantastic. It breathes life into you again, makes everything brighter and cleaner. Everything becomes better then.

But I fear I am rambling now. I am not sure there is much coherent logic here, and I’ve been more spiritual than I had planned, but I think it’s okay. Anyway. Time for bed.