I was completely shocked by the furore that erupted over their ‘Make A Realistic Wish Foundation’ sketch, especially considering all the other potentially offensive material in that particular episode.

Okay, I’m the first to admit I did laugh at that particular sketch. It was wrong on so many levels, but damn did I laugh. Still, I do think it could’ve been executed better. This doesn’t make it an offensive sketch, it makes it one that was just done badly. There’s a difference.I was most angry at the Prime Mininster casting judgement on the sketch without having seen it. It felt like the whole Bill Henson bullshit all over again, with our PM acting like the nation’s moral compass and criticising art as if he’s got a mandate to do so and tell us what’s acceptable because he knows best. Christ, it’s like a Father Knows Best state here.

I, for one, don’t accept that, and I think there are better things for him to be focussing on than a comedy sketch gone wrong.

I was also angry at Amanda Duthie losing her position over this. Nothing said scapegoat more than that, and I was actually ashamed at Media Watch for calling her out on it. One bad decision shouldn’t have been enough to warrant her removal, and I think it was totally unfair to do that, especially when she’s one of their most valuable assets (in my opinion).

In all of this, though, I”m not the sort to defend every Chaser sketch they’ve eber done, just becase I think they’re beyond fault. That isn’t true. There have been things they’ve done that I’ve disliked or hated or not laughed at. Has that changed my love for them? Not really. I think it’s disingenous to say you can’t criticise them as a fan, you have to love and adore them, no matter what.

However, this, just like all the other things that have caused controversy over the last few years, I think a lot of people have completely missed the point and were merely looking for a reason to get angry at The Chaser.

Acknowledging that this is just my opinion and might differ from the way it was supposed to be taken or how others took it, I saw the sketch as a comment on, well, lots of things. Not just the foundation, but the way we lavish all this shit on dying kids and it doesn’t actually solve anything. The pointlessness of it all.

Perhaps this is just my expreince talking, but I suppose because I’m aware the rest of the health system is fucked and the elderly and the mentally ill especially don’t get the same sort of sympathy or funding. I suppose I wish there were better things to do with that money than keep paying for every kid to go to Disneyland because they’re dying.

I think especially with mental illness there’s a certain stigma attached to it, and there’s little compassion for them. I think there’s a certain dismissal of them and their issues and a reaction like ‘get over it’ rather than a genuine concern for their welfare and a desire to help. And I know this is a tangent, but compared to all the sob stories on TV of some kid who’s dying, stories of people with mental illness don’t get the same treatment.

The bloke who was Tasered to death in Queensland recently comes to mind. The attititude of the cop who was describing him didn’t seem to care. There was a certain disdain/dismissal as he talked about him that I thought was completely unnecesary. It was like, he was mental, we were perfectly justified in Tasering him.

Tangent aside, yes, the sketch itself perhaps could’ve been executed better, but I don’t think that just because it was a bad sketch that meant it was made to be offensive. That’s not the same at all and anyone saying so has completely missed the point.

Either way, that’s what I took from it. I’m not trying to be callous, nor am I trying to say that dying kids isn’t bad. I suppose I’m trying to be realistic myself. I just remember all the kids dying of starvation in other countries and wonder why we can’t spare the money to help them.

Perhaps I’m overanalysing or overthinking it. I don’t know. They’re my thoughts on the sketch at any rate. Feel free to disagree.

Now, I’m not saying countries shouldn’t wish to develop their own economies and become better off. I just think we’ve lost sight of all those social aspects of life in the race to become hideously wealthy.

Think about it.

The main issues of the campaign are job- or money-related. We’ve got WorkChoices to contend with, flame wars about union bosses, Rudd and Howard trying to convince us they know how to run the economy best… The issues of health and education are less prominent. All the talk of hospitals seems to be tied in with their funding. Education is all about preparing you for working life. The Government’s handing out tax cuts to just about everyone.

It’s all about money and work.

Is this what we’ve become? Is this really all that matters to us anymore? What happened to community? What happened to people caring about the society we live in and the people themselves? When did we become so fucking selfish?

I want a campaign on social issues, on things that matter, not just how much money Howard can bribe us with. I want us to start caring about each other again, to stop being so terrified of each other, to want to learn for learning’s sake, not just because you have to to further your career. I want less emphasis on the economy and more on the people.

The social well-being of the people should be a government’s main priority. They are there to look after the country and the people. Managing the economy is part of that, sure, but it is not the only job.

At the moment, we have two leaders who are willing to support blatant discrimination against same-sex couples in legislation. If the Liberals want to run a scare campaign about Labor union bosses, then if Labor had any spine at all, they’d run a campaign on all the right-wing Christian organisations and big business influences behind some of our Federal Ministers! That I find far more scary than union bosses.

I hate Howard’s rhetoric on unions, how he seems to say he’s all for unions when WorkChoices is aimed at getting rid of them altogether. The people are much stronger as a group. This is why unions work and are important in workplaces. I doubt Howard would even care if all the unions disappeared overnight. I think he’d laugh with glee because he’s got what he wanted. We all become human machines, working far too many hours for not enough pay in a bid to keep Howard’s Economy booming.

Boom times do not last. It’s going to end some time, probably when we run out of things to dig up. What happens then? Have we even bothered investing some of the funds for a rainy day when things aren’t as strong? This is what the Government should be doing. They should be investing in our future to ensure that we can still survive when things get tougher. We should be investing in humanity, to better ourselves spiritually, socially, mentally, reconnecting with each other again. We should not be wasting $34 billion on election campaign tax cuts that ultimately do more harm than good.

What sort of society have we created? Is it really healthy? Or are we all too afraid to admit it has problems?

Just this week, President Bush welcomed the Dalai Lama in a way that Howard was too cowardly to do. If Bush has done one thing that’s worth remembering in his 8 years in office, I will remember that, because it was a disgrace that Howard was too afraid of upsetting China to meet with him. Once again, the economy was an issue. China buys our coal, therefore we shouldn’t piss them off, because then they’ll take their money away. It’s all about the fucking money!

Gah! We do not bow to China! We should not bow to any sovereign country, not even the USA or the UK. We are a strong nation. Why must we run around like a lapdog and try and placate all the Big World Leaders™ in a bid to convince them we’re allies and friends and they should let us play with them? It’s sickening. It’s degrading. It makes us look pathetic.

Our lack of care for our fellow humans is clear from our continued flouncing of UN Charters we’ve signed on to. You can’t just pick and choose which UN Charters to take on board and which to dismiss. You sign on to it, you abide by it. No exceptions. We should not be selling our uranium to India either. We should not be selling uranium to any country that hasn’t signed up for the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. Hell, we shouldn’t be selling uranium full stop.

We need to stop caring about The Market and focus back on the people. If you rule a bunch of sheep, you are nothing more than a dictator. The politics of fear lead down this path. We should all be afraid of where it might take us.

Author’s Note@26/6/09: Oh, there was no way I wasn’t posting this again. It’s completely and utterly epic and needs to exist. So there.

Chaser fans are curious, wonderful, infuriating creatures. I both love them and hate them.

The success of The War has brought a whole new contingent of fans to the fore, some of whom deserve to be shot more than anything. Some also deserve my undying love, but that’s another story.

My observations of said Chaser fans spans from livejournal to myspace to facebook to the Chaser site and other smaller assorted places. They tend to fall into distinct categories, despite their protestations otherwise. Any references to ‘the forum’ relate solely to the Chaser forum found at their website.

The Elitists
First, we have The Elitists.

Now, the Elitists are a bunch of up-themselves snobs who think they’re better fans/the only true fans/the only legitimate fans because:
a) they’re not fangirls
b) they loved them before they were on TV/knew them at uni/stalked them at uni/stalked Andrew’s band/stalked them at some point/knew their parents/knew them when they were foetuses, as if somehow the longer you’ve known them, the more legitimate your claim is to being a True Chaser Fan™; and
c) they don’t fancy the boys at all, because, ew, so not a fangirl. *sighs* They only love them for their intelligence and how brilliant they are at what they do. Go figure.

These fans are particularly annoying in that they carry that smug, superior air about them and generally like attacking anyone who shows even the tiniest hints of fangirlism, because the natural enemy of the Elitist is the Fangirl, an eternal battle that shall go on for eternity, or until The Chaser disappear, never to be seen again. They’re a bit like Chris Taylor, in that they thrive on pissing contests to see who’s more pretentious than the others.

The Bandwagoners
Then you have the “bandwagoners”, which is a term I hate using, but it will suffice.

These are the fans who only liked them once they started The War. Usually teenagers, usually annoying, usually but not always have a thing about Andrew’s hair/Chris Taylor/crazy Chas. Craig and Jules tend to be neglected somewhat. Will probably be oblivious to Charles and Dom’s existence, or even that The Chaser originated as a satirical newspaper. May or may not have watched CNNNN or The Election Chaser or The Chaser Decides, since they were only ickle babies at the time and/or had no idea the shows actually existed. May not even be aware The Chaser are satirical. Prone to bouts of exclamations as to how much they love Clive or the Crazy Warehouse Guy, or any other character Andrew’s done for The War. Usually speak in high-pitched squeals and are infuriating to be around. Will result in you wanting to smack them round the head with something solid.

“Bandwagoners” are generally disliked and abused and never tolerated, and more often than not, can be found on myspace/bebo/facebook, typing in incoherent English in a manner that makes it seem like they’re having a seizure. May not even be aware the boys have their own website either. Often found after tapings or at any event the boys happen to be at (ABC’s 75th birthday parties, I’m looking at you) begging their favourite Chaser if they can have their babies or clambering all over Andrew, trying to touch his hair. Trufax. *nods*

“Bandwagoners”, it must be said, are generally ignorant of other Chaser fans from the other groups, preferring to stay with their kind and multiply in an avalanche of netspeak, squealing and horrible, horrible fan pages.

The Moderately Sane Fans
Then you’ve got the moderate fans, who aren’t all that crazy, may fancy one or two of them to some degree, Julian more often than not, probably liked them for several years, may or may not have bought the paper, and seem to be the sanest amongst the whole lot. Not huge in number, usually older than fangirls and “bandwagoners” and seem the most likely to act like children on the Chaser forum when bored out of their minds. Most often the source of forum drama, whereby someone is picked on constantly and eventually leaves the forum, or someone is banned, or both. Seem to think they’re superior because they’re older. May or may not be grammar nazis/teachers/mothers on the forum. Okay, so that spilled over from fandom to the forum, whatever.

Will bitch about the boys being “mainstream”, because they remember when the boys were hardly known at all and they were their little cult group to love and adore and impress people with their love of something so obscure and political. Will also bitch about the boys not doing so much political satire anymore. May also wistfully wish for the CNNNN days to be back.

Younger fangirls wanting to legitimise their place on the forum mimic their spelling/grammar nazi act in a bid to be accepted and try to act like the saner older females of the forum in a bid to save themselves from abuse.

On the forum, there’s a subset of mostly male politically inclined arseholes who generally make for intelligent conversation and berate newbies and fangirls with fervour. Can be harsh bastards, but are generally entertaining and are the ones most inclined to argue with you.

The Fangirls
The fangirls come next. I mention these separately from the “bandwagoners” as these girls claim they aren’t bandwagoners or fangirls and want us all to believe they’re super-intelligent and mature, even when they’re only 14 and really, they so love The Chaser for the political satire and not because OMG those bois r lyk so hawt!!12!. *nods*

Generally try-hards who are in denial of their fangirl status and often do so when introducing themselves on the forum. Can often infuriate other members of the forum with their incessant habit of using the forum like an MSN conversation when they should be using the chatroom instead. Can be identified by their Chaser avatars, as anyone on the forum who isn’t a fangirl does not feel the need to have a Chaser avatar. Cats, bunnies, politicians, world leaders, dictators, Dylan Moran, Dr Cox or cartoon characters generally suffice.

Will spend most of their time squeeing over the boys in spite of their fangirl denials. Their lives revolve around tapings, the boys, and how hot they are. But never let it be said that they’re fangirls. No way. Totally not fangirls. *insert high pitched squeal about how hot Andrew is here*

Will also bitch about the boys being “mainstream”, even if they’ve only been watching since mid-2006. May try to legitimise their claim by saying that ‘everyone at their school watches it now, but they don’t get the political stuff, not like I do’, as if it somehow makes them better.

The Slashers
The last and final group is probably the smallest and least visible, and a lot of fans are in denial of its existence, or are unaware it even exists at all.

In some regards considered lower than the “bandwagoners”, Chaser slashers are generally frowned upon in most circles despite the homoeroticism being so blatant that subtext is irrelevant. XD Slashers enjoy pointing out the hypocrisy of those fans that dare to point out how evil they are when nonslashers are quite happy to discuss Chris/Craig kisses, or Chas/Andrew kisses, or whatever blatant flirting they noticed that week, and admit it might be a little bit hot, but apparently, that’s as far as you can take it, because actually writing Chaser smutfics is an unforgivable offence, subject to flaming, arguing and abuse from all corners and particular abuse coming from Elitists, who see slashers as perverting their precious Chaser boys.

Chaser slashers are generally not too self-promoting, since admitting to slashing the guys generally does not elicit a positive response unless around other slashers. Like “bandwagoners”, they generally keep to themselves, and hide their activities in a bid to avoid drama.

Generally speaking, Chaser slashers are mid-long term fans, although there’s some newer fans than that. They often secretly wish they could proclaim their love of slashing the boys without fear of being ridiculed, while also wishing they could convince the rest of the fandom that the boys are indeed slashy and seeing the subtext isn’t that hard to do since it’s blatantly obvious, even back to CNNNN.

Often ignored and invisible, the slashers have grown considerably in numbers over the last two years. Not that anyone outside the slashers knows or realises this. Can also have fangirly tendencies, but not about how much they want to have Andrew’s babies, but more about how they want Chris to have Andrew’s babies. Popular pairings include the classic and original Chris/Craig, Chris/Andrew, Andrew/Craig, and Andrew/Chas. Yes, there’s a theme. XD Julian/Chas is also popular, although not as much as the others. Will scrutinise The War every week for anything remotely slashy. Can border on the obsessive.

These are the main groups I’ve observed over the last few years. The general bitchiness between the groups lends the fandom as a whole a general air of disconnectedness. The groups are quite separate from each other, and only interact in the form of conflict more often than not.

That is not to say some areas of some groups can overlap and get along, but it’s a rare occurrence. Older fans usually resent the flood of young teenage fans who don’t appreciate the boys in the same way they do.

And so endeth the lesson.