The Vanguard

I’ve swung back into agnostic territory again. I keep looking at my religious beliefs and wondering if I’m not just going through the motions. Fact is, I’ve never been very … what’s the word … expressive? My spirituality is very practical in nature. I’m not interested in high ritual and ceremony. I find it distracting from the heart of what religion is all about. That said, sometimes I wished I had a little more care for it, because at least then I’d feel like I was doing something, rather than just existing without showing my faith much.

While I am Kemetic Orthodox, and I like the Senut ritual, it’s too much for me to do every day. Again, I’m feeling a need to go back to my simpler morning ritual of greeting the Gods each morning with prayer, lighting some incense, and spending a moment in Their presence. Which, I know, Senut is a more detailed version of, but it’s not what I want. I find Senut very difficult to perform when others are in the house. I had no issues with my own little ritual, but because Senut can take me upwards of an hour, and I need to be in the right frame of mind, it just… I just end up putting it off.

Perhaps I need to write some more prayers to say in the morning and make it my habit to recite prayers, burn incense, and just be with Them after I get up, rather than speed to the computer and get coffee. I feel I need something to make me feel like I’m doing something.
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This post isn’t necessarily about one incident or one religion or whatever. It’s more of a general post about a variety of things that I’ve observed, mostly within pagan groups. It’s just annoying me at the moment, and it’s all I can think about to post here, since I neglected to post last weekend. Sorry! Was very busy. >.<

(As an aside, I’m also posting this over at Per Sebek, due to relevance.)

Now, I know religion can be a touchy subject for some, and for those who are Pagan of some sort, it can be a subject they are unwilling to talk about due to a fear of harrassment. I get it. However, I don’t think that can really justify the notion that all these little pagan groups need to cut themselves off from anyone who doesn’t agree with them, as if somehow an alternative experience or view point might be the cause of the apocalypse.

‘They’re just a troll, ignore them’. I find this excuse somewhat pathetic. Sure, some might be genuine trolls, and fair enough, if they’re genuine trolls, so be it. But if it’s more of an issue of someone saying something you don’t like, or maybe expressing a belief that’s not necessarily one you hold, I am not inclined to call troll. I don’t think cutting yourself off from alternative perspectives helps anyone, and I think it gives the perception of a closed community, one that is conformist and not accepting of differing views.
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