The Vanguard

I was linked to a column by Julia Baird on twitter about silence and why we need it, and it got me thinking. Finally, I know, right? Because I’ve neglected this place a little — too much work for uni, not enough brain space to generate more than a couple of cynical paragraphs about refugee wank and how I’m totally over it.

I’ve had a thought for quite some time now that I would probably cope quite well if I was a nun. I don’t seem to have the same issues with silence that other people do; in fact, given a choice between a noisy party and a quiet home, I’ll take the quiet home kthnx. Why? I don’t like being in noisy places. I can’t think clearly and it makes me withdraw somewhat.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about community and identity lately; blame uni for this – one of my units started banging on about ideas of community and nationhood, and as you’d expect, it’s kinda stuck in my mind. I’ve never really given my ancestry as much importance as perhaps others might’ve. For most of my life, I’ve considered myself Australian. As I’ve gotten older, and fallen more in love with Britain and the UK and learnt more about where my family comes from, other than Australia, I’ve had a growing sense that ‘Australian’ just doesn’t quite complete me. My British ancestry isn’t from, say, three generations ago. It comes straight from my mother. I can get a British passport because my mother was born in Liverpool.

I still remember her telling me once to go home, home meaning the UK. I’ve never forgotten that, and I suppose that’s when I had this dawning sense of being half-English. Okay, if I’m honest, a third Australian, a third British, and a third Welsh. Mum’s mother’s family are Welsh, and Granddad carried a Welsh flag when he used to march with the Normandy vets in the ANZAC Day marches.
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I’m one of those people who’s either Gen X or Gen Y, depending on the source. Some cite 1983 as Gen Y, some as Gen X, so I figure I’m actually just really awesome and have a foot in each camp and I refuse to be classified. XD

(If I’m being technical, I am Gen X, since I’m the child of baby boomers. But I like my special awesome not part of either classification better. )

Anyway. I’m a rather nostalgic person. I’ve mentioned it before on here. I adore vinyl, old movies, VHS, cassettes, retro games, old consoles, all that awesome stuff I grew up with. At the same time, I’m very at ease with modern technology and the internet. I’ve been using the net since I was in my early teens, around a decade.

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Concept shamelessly stolen from angry!Gregor of Chaser fame due to a distinct lack of other more interesting ideas with which to blog about. That, and I have a migraine, so this is as creative as I’m getting.

1) It is impossible to listen to The Idle Race and be unhappy as a result.
I didn’t think it would be possible to like a band after only hearing one song, but, well, I’m shallow. And ‘Days Of The Broken Arrows’ is EPIC. Srsly.

It’s partly the music. It’s just so… freakishly awesome. And happy! Yay for psychedelic rock. XD But yes. Also, /random fangirl moment/ Jeff Lynne’s voice is sosososo prettiful! /sanity restored. …I might be slightly in love with his falsetto at the moment. >.>

Though I still adore them post-Jeff as well. Very prettiful music, considering it’s ~40 years old. <3 *watches music collection age a decade* XD ‘By The Sun’ is epic and prettyful and I luffs it so. <3
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The year comes to a close, Zep Tepi approaches. The air is heavy with exhaustion. It aches for renewal. I feel it in my body, my bones, my mind. I’m ready for this year to be over. Everything is carrying the weight of the year, and it’s telling. There’s a desire to reach out to the air and breathe again.

I don’t know why I’m writing this here. I suppose just for something to say. Haven’t written much the past few days. Even my inspiration is tired. I might do some reading tomorrow, or that editing I keep putting off. Maybe refresh my Age of Myth skillz. I don’t know how I got so bad at it. I need to rehash my cheats memory. Pandoras Box and Wrath of the Gods will only get me so far… XD

No idea if I’m doing anything for Wep Ronpet though. At least, I have no plans for something big, not when it’ll just be me. Might spend some time in shrine though. And destroy a snake cake or similar. We’ll see. Brain is kinda dead right now, so any thoughts about New Year are very much  ‘oh gods why aren’t you here yet?’

There are too many things I have thoughts on, but not enough to make any sort of coherent post about. Writing is going okay, though, in spite of what I said above. Writing is just not as prolific. Then again, after writing 5k in a weekend, I tend to need a rest and let my inspration recharge. Perhaps I should do that editing tomorrow.

Sometimes, I don’t know what to say. I have too many thoughts and not enough inspiration to write them down. So they swirl around in my head, waiting for the right time. This is mostly okay, unless I have two or more totally disparate topics, and neither make any sense at all.

Most of my thoughts are on religion and spirituality tonight, but I’m not interested in writing about that here. Various things around the place have me both annoyed at religion and glad to be amongst friends.

The way I practice religion and spirituality are probably rather a lot different to the way others might do it. I find my own way, and reject anyone who tells me what to believe. The nature of my beliefs and cosmology have shifted substantially this year. I am not solely Earth-focussed anymore. My worldview has expanded and is now filled with stars. (more…)

Between the hours of about 9-10pm and 2-3am is my favourite time of night. Prime time is over and has thankfully stopped screaming at me. The world begins to slow down. Most of all, I can think, and I’m one of those people who needs a certain stillness/calmness/silence in which to think.

It’s a time of night that has a certain feel to it. It’s distinct from earlier in the evening, or much later on in the night towards dawn. It’s still and quiet, especially during the week. I’ve discovered some of my favourite TV shows and movies during this time of night.

I like hearing the occasional car drive past. Suburbia has its own insane beauty that I just adore. (more…)