The Vanguard

I was linked to a column by Julia Baird on twitter about silence and why we need it, and it got me thinking. Finally, I know, right? Because I’ve neglected this place a little — too much work for uni, not enough brain space to generate more than a couple of cynical paragraphs about refugee wank and how I’m totally over it.

I’ve had a thought for quite some time now that I would probably cope quite well if I was a nun. I don’t seem to have the same issues with silence that other people do; in fact, given a choice between a noisy party and a quiet home, I’ll take the quiet home kthnx. Why? I don’t like being in noisy places. I can’t think clearly and it makes me withdraw somewhat.

(more…)

I’ve swung back into agnostic territory again. I keep looking at my religious beliefs and wondering if I’m not just going through the motions. Fact is, I’ve never been very … what’s the word … expressive? My spirituality is very practical in nature. I’m not interested in high ritual and ceremony. I find it distracting from the heart of what religion is all about. That said, sometimes I wished I had a little more care for it, because at least then I’d feel like I was doing something, rather than just existing without showing my faith much.

While I am Kemetic Orthodox, and I like the Senut ritual, it’s too much for me to do every day. Again, I’m feeling a need to go back to my simpler morning ritual of greeting the Gods each morning with prayer, lighting some incense, and spending a moment in Their presence. Which, I know, Senut is a more detailed version of, but it’s not what I want. I find Senut very difficult to perform when others are in the house. I had no issues with my own little ritual, but because Senut can take me upwards of an hour, and I need to be in the right frame of mind, it just… I just end up putting it off.

Perhaps I need to write some more prayers to say in the morning and make it my habit to recite prayers, burn incense, and just be with Them after I get up, rather than speed to the computer and get coffee. I feel I need something to make me feel like I’m doing something.
(more…)