Sometimes, I don’t know what to say. I have too many thoughts and not enough inspiration to write them down. So they swirl around in my head, waiting for the right time. This is mostly okay, unless I have two or more totally disparate topics, and neither make any sense at all.
Most of my thoughts are on religion and spirituality tonight, but I’m not interested in writing about that here. Various things around the place have me both annoyed at religion and glad to be amongst friends.
The way I practice religion and spirituality are probably rather a lot different to the way others might do it. I find my own way, and reject anyone who tells me what to believe. The nature of my beliefs and cosmology have shifted substantially this year. I am not solely Earth-focussed anymore. My worldview has expanded and is now filled with stars.
I am definitely a walking example of an eclectic pagan, a label I claimed when I first started out as a Wiccan. I think I have a better understanding now of what it means to be an eclectic pagan than I did when I was 16. I am also, perhaps, becoming more of a Discordian than I had anticipated. For all its apparent silliness, there is truth and wisdom to be found there too.
Kemetic beliefs, Discordianism and Hinduism are the major influences on my spirituality. They intermingle and twine together and create a cohesive something I can relate to. I have a somewhat more lax view on spirituality and spiritual practice than some. The world around us contains its own magics and power. To spend too much time in shrine, seeking desperately the company of gods, is to miss the beautiful, magical, powerful world we live in.
We are connected to everything. Everything we do affects the planet in some manner. The magic in the earth is … astounding. It’s comforting. I like feeling it. I’m the sort of person who will always want to be connected to the earth in some way. To my country. It’s where I belong.
The Kemetic calendar is so ingrained in my head now. I feel the energy draining, how things are gasping their last few breaths. The world is waiting for a new year. I can feel it. I’m ready for it, that I can say for sure. It’s that need for renewal. And I think the calendar does work in a southern hemisphere context very well. July, the last month of the Kemetic year (to use normal dating, as opposed to Kemetic dating), always feels like the darkest part of the year. The coldest, the wettest, the most miserable. And then August comes along and we’re halfway through winter. Spring is coming. The world begins to renew itself, to begin the process of renewal. To come out of the dark and cold of midwinter and emerge into the new year, and the coming spring, is fantastic. It breathes life into you again, makes everything brighter and cleaner. Everything becomes better then.
But I fear I am rambling now. I am not sure there is much coherent logic here, and I’ve been more spiritual than I had planned, but I think it’s okay. Anyway. Time for bed.